The Name Game
November 21, 2008
There are people in this world who shouldn’t even be allowed to breed — let alone name their offspring.
Case Study:
<— Asshat Simpson and her freakish emo baby daddy, Pete Wentzhispants
These two goddamned twits named their sad, unfortunate spawn … Bronx.
And it gets worse.
The brat’s full brand is Bronx Mowgli Wentz
Bronx.
Mowgli.
Wentz.
NO WAY you can say it without sounding like Elmer Fudd!
Aside from having waaaayyyyyy too many of ALL of the weird vowels and consonants – they named their kid after the poorest Congressional district in the entire fucking country … and a fictional character who’s name may or may not mean ‘frog’.
Jesusmaryandjoseph! Just nickname the little bastard ‘target of unbridled youth aggression’ already because that’s exactly what he’s gonna be.
Entry Filed under: Gossip, News, blogging, entertainment, fun, funny, life, odd, unbelievable. Tags: ashlee simpson, baby, Bronx, comedy, consonant, dumb, family, father, fiction, grammar, health, humor, mistake, mother, Mowgli, name, new york, News, offspring, people, pete wentz, random, Rudyard Kipling, sarcasm, satire, silly, singer, son, song, speech, stupid, The Jungle Book, thoughts, vowel, writing.
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1.
MommyCity | November 22, 2008 at 5:27 am
Mowgli huh?? Why does the word ‘Fugly’ immediately come to mind?
2.
lifeisacookie | November 22, 2008 at 3:52 pm
That EXACT thought went through my mind yesterday!
(we are one …)
3.
curious | November 23, 2008 at 9:41 pm
i thought this peter guy was a goober smoocher anyway. wasn’t he on the cover of some fag-rag last year? move over jack osbourne, i can see another reality tv show in about 15 yrs. i really miss happy days
4.
lifeisacookie | November 25, 2008 at 1:14 am
CURIOUS!!!!
What AM I going to DO with you?!?
5.
curious | November 25, 2008 at 12:44 pm
throw me on the ground and talk dirty to me cookie! don’t you miss happy days too?
6.
lifeisacookie | November 25, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Not Happy Days — but I do have a soft spot for Laverne & Shirley reruns …
Schlemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated!