Thursday Theatrics – Giuliani Style!

Rudy “9-11″ Giuliani’s 22-year-old douchebag son has filed a 198-page lawsuit against Duke University for cutting him from the school’s golf team.
::: I OBJECT! :::

Andrew Giuliani says Duke is in ‘breach of contract’ by cutting him because he was ‘recruited’ by the previous golf staff.

WOW! Recruited! He must be GOOD then, right???
Umm, like no ‘n stuff?

Yummy stats, anyone?

Last season The Blue Devil’s golf team had 14 players.

Rudy’s Runt was one of nine players who competed in only one or two tournaments.

The team’s top five golfers, on the other hand, competed in at least nine tournaments.

Pussyboy’s best finish was a tie for 36th at the Fighting Illini Invitational.

Asscrack’s season competition average was 74.5, which made him the 12th best player on the 14-player team.
::: Duke’s the one who should be suing! Just who the hell was the asshat who ‘recruited’ this loser?!? :::

So the coach decides to whittle the team to about half its size and used the time-tested practice of keeping the best players — but ‘Drool wasn’t havin’ any of that action and got all ‘don’t you know who I am?!?’

They did.
You’re a loser.
They cut you.
That’s life.
Deal.

There is no ‘Andrew’ in TEAM.

Andouche said he’s suing because privileged uppercrusters like him always gets what they want and no way some golf-pro wannabe teacher is gonna stand in his way “to make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else at Duke.”
Ya.
Bitch forgot to mention he’s also suing for as much money as he can shake from the Duke dollar tree ’unspecified compensatory damages’ and use of the school’s state-of-the-art golf center (while he is in school and after he graduates).
Drama Queen also wants a jury trial.

So does mommy.

“This has been heartbreaking,” Donna Hanover, said in a statement. “We tried for many months to convince members of the Duke administration that because we are rich and white ‘the rules’ don’t apply to us this situation should be corrected and we are pissed off and looking for retribution sad that we have now had to turn to the court.”

If this ginormous waste of time and taxpayer dollars does go to trial, I hope it’s on teevee and Judge Judy gets the call so she can brand his pampered puss with her own special brand of ‘I don’t think so!’
I would TIVO the hell outta that shit and throw a big ol’ Bew Hew Ball so people could gather to eat popcorn and point and laugh hysterically at little Andy … just like those lucky bastards at Duke get to do every day!

Good times!