What’s that smell?

Some crazy bitch has been running around Louisiana spraying her, umm, scent on the unsuspecting.
A whiff or two is apparently so powerful that it basically knocks their asses OUT.
::: Corinne! Have you been playing Lot Lizard again?!? :::

Police say the woman goes up to random dudes in parking lots and seedy side streets and is all ‘hey, wanna buy some cologne, big guy?’
If it’s an ‘Uh-huh’ situation, she:

whips out a sample of said ‘cologne‘

waives it under the victim’s nose

breaks out a bottle of some other shit

sprays that on a sheet of paper and figure-eight’s the thing an inch or so from the victim’s face.

Poor guy has no choice but to accept the moment …

Unfortunately, the terms of acceptance include dizziness, shortness of breath, numbness in their, uhh, extremities and, in a couple of cases, getting in touch with their outer unconsciousness.

Detectives arrested a 23-year-old named …
::: wait for it :::

PATCHES

Oh hell to the yeah !!
‘Cuz this story is just 20 kinds of stupid and definitely not worth a two-second retell unless the bitch is called something like Stinky James or Skankwag or, well Patches!!

And so, Patches Wegmann got some face-to-face time with the Po Po, during which she admitted to the crime.
::: Oh these modern criminal masterminds! How DO they do it?!? :::

Poor Pitiful Patches was charged with second-degree battery and unlawful solicitation. She was booked into the Terrebonne Parish Jail where we assume she is getting her own special dose of Crackhead Cathy’s ’special scent’ right about now … and now … and now … and tomorrow morning … and ….