One less retiree-to-be in Baltimore

April 24, 2008

What IS the world coming to when an off-duty police officer can’t even knock a few back at his favorite titty bar without all hell breaking loose?

Haven Street barThat’s the predicament one Baltimore official found himself in when he walked out of the B-town booby bar brandishing brass knuckles and tried to join a brawl.

See, some fugly bitches had come into the Haven Street bar a while earlier lookin’ for work. They must have been straight up busted in the face because their mere presence started the melee.

“Some people made comments about them and then the fight was on,” the police commish said. He said uniformed officers were on the scene when the off-duty officer emerged from the bar armed with brass knuckles.

Whassssss thuh prolemmmm ohssifurz *hic* 

Enter the poor young officer-shooter, who had planted himself by a door to prevent any other sobriety-challenged patrons from joining the fun.

Here’s how The Cookie thinks it went down:
Young officer confronts off-duty officer: ‘Hold it right there, grampy!’
Blinking from the boozy yellow glare of streetlights, ODO brings the ‘Hell naw with that  action, ya little shitstick!’
YO gets Taser-happy.
ODO hits the ground.
Zzzzzzzzzttttt
Pissed off and drooling, ODO whips out his gun.
YO does too.
You already know who won

Young officer says he didn’t recognize drunk, sloppy, slurry off-duty officer, and there’s no indication the old horndog ODO identified himself as an officer, but who really understands the language of the drunk-ass anyway? It’s like Pig Latin for adults, isn’t it?

… I’z uh ohsssifur en ahh goht yer bajj raht heerr, fukkur! *hic*

ODO, a 44-year veteran of the force, is being hailed as a good cop and mentor to others and, you know, he probably was  a pretty damned good guy … when he wasn’t watchin’ ‘em work the pole!

I’ve got to think Mrs. ODO isn’t very happy that her husband’s last moments were spent battling over a bunch of fug-ass drunk bitches who could probably eat corn on the cob through a barbed-wire fence.

And for those keeping score: ODO is the seventh person shot and killed by Baltimore police this year … until tomorrow.

Entry Filed under: Gossip, News, blogging, entertainment, funny, life, unbelievable. Tags: , , , , , , , , .

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